I don't believe you
by Samantha Marie Cullen
Summary: begins after edward leaves Bella.. this is a story on how after a year Bella has matured and has found someone new and Edward is regretting his decision... will Bella be swept away again or will Bella hold true to her new Edward?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Song – like a knife by secondhand serenade**

_All characters belong to the one and only Stephenie meyer… but the alternate plot is all me :D_

**BPOV**

"You're no good for me" Edward said standing right across me shining with perfection, the sunlight beating down on his skin. I was paralyzed "I I I… you said you…you loved me... I still lo…:" I stuttered seeing how much this resembled a dream I had few days ago. I knew I was not good enough for him. I never had been or still am. I had been dreading this since the day I fell head over heels with him. I was always so scared that he was just going to realize it one day and then I would lose him. I had known it all along but it still brought pain, the most unbearable pain I have ever felt it pierced through my heart a perfect alternative to being stabbed repeatedly.

What am I, a mere mortal compared to the beautiful perfect vampire woman he could have. They could run and hunt with him instead of walking with him at slowest pace even known to man. They wouldn't need to hunt at night instead they could spend the whole night together without the sleeping factor sharing the most passionate and intimate of feelings like the rest of the family does instead of trying so hard to control the raw feelings constantly as to not hurt her, he would not need to waste time with so many human moments and so many other things could be avoided if he had a vampire mate.

"NO!" he exclaimed softly as if he were utterly bored and disgusted "Bella don't say it I don't want you to guilt me in to keeping you like I have doing this past year. I cannot be with you any longer. You're HUMAN! and my singer" he exclaimed with a dark chuckle "you were a fun pet to have I learnt a lot of self control thank you for that but I really got to leave now so bye bye" he said as he smirked at the pain I knew was attached on my face. It was as if I had been punched in the gut I could feel the weight on my shoulders as I slowly clutched my midriff trying to keep myself upright when my heart shattered leaving me gasping for breath. Just that moment I saw him slipping away into the darkness like grains of sand. "NOOOO…. Edward don't do this" I screamed lying on the damp forest floor sobbing trying to regulate my breath which were slowly faltering as the gaping hole in my chest widened further, just a minute later darkness clouded my mind and collapsed.

Slowly I opened my eyes again this time I was in the meadow but it looked horrible it was as if the life had been sucked out of it. The magical sight filled with the beautiful lake, the green pastures with the ever present sheet of dewdrops, the exotically beautiful array of flowers and the musky sweet scent of the area was gone. It was completely dry, the lake was just filled with mud, the pastures were brown the colored flowers all brown and withered and the scent was just horrible. As I slowly stood up I spotted Laurent. He looked at me in curiosity started asking me questions I could not process he mentioned words like "Cullen's", "gone", "kill", "you", "she's" and "coming". He then was right in front of me holding me by the neck the words suddenly processed in my head and I started squirming in his hands. "honey stop it's ok I will kill you quickly and you would not even feel it whereas Victoria would just kill so slowly torturing you till you beg of her to grant you death" then it happened the searing pain in my neck and the sights of red hair then a very familiar demonic smirk.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO….." I screamed a blood curling scream as I jumped out of bed into Jacob's arms. "Hey you're ok you're fine I' am here I' am here…" the familiar face calmed me soothed me as his presence always does. "Bella, Bella what happened what was it this time?" he asked hugging me fiercely trying to defend me from those unseen. Slowly I returned his embrace and sobbed my story onto his shoulders. "Shhhh…. its ok honey I' am here and I promise I would not let anyone harm you, _**anyone**_" he repeated as a silent vow. I simply nodded and start to doze of into his enticing and warm chest.

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Adam Lambert - aftermath

**BPOV**

"Arghhhh…" I groaned as I woke up hearing Jake's ring tone blaring from my phone. I slowly answered the phone trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Hey Jake" I grumbled.

"Awwww… don't you sound just chirper?" he laughed.

"Seriously Jake what do you want I want to sleep its still…." I pushed my fallen bedside clock straight allowing me to see for how many hours he would receive my silent treatment.

"7.45….. SHIT! classes starts at 8" I screeched as I jumped out of bed "shit head rush!" I groaned diving back under the covers then I slowly stood up again trying to ignore the loud boisterous laughter I heard on the phone. I slowly ran down the steps unlocked the door for Jacob and ran to take a bath. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water relax my muscles. And I slowly let my mind wander. That fateful day had been not only the end of me and Edward it had also been a new beginning for me and Jacob. As Edward left I thought I would be alone in this world with a huge nail hammered into my chest adding to the weight I felt on my shoulders but I had someone, I had Jacob he was there that day searching for me in the woods as I searched for a long gone Edward. He had held me and taken me home to bed. He had told me how sorry he was and promised that he would always be there for me. Months after even though I pushed him away with my 'zombie' attitude as everyone called it he had always been there the more I pushed with hurtful words and unforgivable actions he would keep coming to me soothing me with his sweet words of hope and friendship. But he had let me wallow and that was exactly what I did I had wallowed and wallowed and wallowed but he never left me completely alone he had told me that he was a phone call away and he would not mind if I called him at ungodly hours but I had never taken up his offer I pushed everyone away for months.

But on the 6th month 22nd day at 7.37pm It finally struck me that I was hurting everyone around me. I had realized this because of Charlie, he had come home that day and as he entered the kitchen and took one look at the food at the table his weary expression grew shocked and had asked me if everything ok and the look of his face had hurt deeply. What a bad daughter had I been to have her father think there was something wrong if she made dinner. That had finally cracked me and that night I had raced to Jacob's house and collapsed in his arms sobbing and begging him to help me and that I was sorry for pushing him away all this time. From that day on he never once left my side for anything at all he helped me cope with my life step by step I created a new beginning. I changed my school to the one at the reservation and I made new friends like Kim, Leah, Emily, Claire, Rebecca and the gang of wolves excluding Sam and Paul who think its extremely inappropriate to befriend one of 'them' but Jacob never let me feel bad about it he always brushed it off and told me "Their too moody to be around anyway". A few weeks into my expanding friendship with Jacob I experienced his transformation at first hand it had happened when Jacob and me were in the theatre I had safely rushed him out of there to the forest and watched him change. I was finally living instead of existing I was trying my best to move on. Jake had slowly taken out the nail which was hammered into my heart but that single hole no matter how small it, still shows that I' am damaged. And there was only one person who could fix that and because he had vanished from the phase of the earth I would remain this way coping living my life with a damaged heart.

"Hey bells are you dead in there? Hurry up it's getting late!" Jake broke my thoughts as he knocked on the bathroom door snickering to himself.

"Coming… sorry" I hopped out of the cubicle and hurriedly dried my hair and put on a dark grey tank top, a black hoodie, skinny jeans and the Armani leather boots my mom had bought for me. I loved dark colors now I could not wear anything light it would contrast my moods terribly and it hurt my eyes. I never went with dark blue either because of _him_... I wore every other dark color though. I slowly skipped all the way down and ate the eggs and bacon Jacob had prepared for me.

"I don't get it why do even come here everyday? UNI is like 5 minutes from your house" I mused tapping my hand on the wooden table. We had just started at the University of Washington and so far it has been great. A year had passed since he had vanished from my life but till today my memories were afresh. They never faltered but I seemed to have contained them. I seemed to have kept them in a box with a huge Warning sign on it even though I still felt pain once in a while I would look out my window wishing he were there or walked to familiar places to remember him but I was fine.

"Awwww… can't I go to school with my best friend is it such a crime?" He pouted slightly hanging his head.

"Hey Hey fine I was just asking! your such a puppy"

"I'm not a puppy! I' am a wolf bella a huge, ferocious…"

"Cute, cuddly, googly eyed, fluffy, tame wolf" I ended the sentence

"Which is just as good as calling you a puppy,Right?"

"Arghhhh… take that back" he growled or whined I' am not sure which.

"Take what back?" I asked dismissively. He then launched across the sofa tickling me

"Take that back"

"Oh…oh….ok…..so…so ….sorr…sooorrrr….sorrry….sorry…I….take…It.….back" I squealed pushing him of me.

"Good ok let's go" called as he raced out pushing me back on to the couch as he raced out with a whoosh.

"Hey no fair"

"what can I say your so slow bells it's not my fault that you take bath as if this is the last one you're going to have for a year, eat as if you feel the need to be extra cautious with your digestion and walk slower than a snail because of your 2 left feet" he listed of one by one on his fingers.

"Whatever Jake I know you love me for it" I replied giving him playful nudge

"Ok miss Swan today's mode of transportation is a werewolf so if you be so kind as to walk to the forest we would be ready to depart" Jacob spoke like a professional guide as I giggled my way to the forest.

Right there he transformed in to the loving beast I know and love, his fur as silky as usual shining a radiant reddish color in the sun. I slowly sat on his back and hung on to his back as we left running whipping through the wind at a high speed. After 5 – 10 minutes we reached the clearing behind the university. I slowly laid clothes for Jake from my bag and walked to the front of school waiting for the rest of my friends.

Soon he came jogging out the fence like a small boy coming out of a candy shop with a bag full of goodies, his face was shining with the gullible ever present smile.

"Hey"

"Hey, come on the others are already here" Me, Leah, Kim, Jared, Jacob were in the same class and so we had a tight bond. Emily I used to see less of as Sam had forbid her to see me and Rebecca was also in a similar situation except I saw her at Jacob's sometimes. Quil, Embry, Seth and Claire were still completing senior year so we saw them when we hang out on the weekends .

"Hey you guys!" I waved them towards us

"Hey Bells!" Kim skipped first pulling me into a hug

"I missed you…" she chirped as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Awwww…. Kim I missed you too! Don't worry we'll see more of each other when I finish the renovations of the apartment day after!" I cheered completely ecstatic to be moving in closer to my friends and moving out of Charlie's .

"Finally! Thank god you're getting that apartment I finally can hang there again when Leah kicks me out with her silly mood swings" Jacob winced as if remembering something painful.

"What was that sweetie"

"…...Nothing…"

"Huh?"

"Nothing really..."

'I thought so!"

"Hey bells how are you?" she greeted her face softening

"I' am great!"

"Are your nightmares still bothering you dear?" she asked. Leah was the only one who knew about my nightmares other than Jake and she has been very considerate. She was a big sister to me and she was also very protective of me.

"Yeah they are still there but less. I' am having it only thrice a week now" I gave her a small smile. Suddenly I was swooped up and was being twirled.

"Jaaarrreeeddd put me down" I giggled

"Belllaaaaaa I missed you how was your week-end?" He asked finally putting me down.

"It was great Charlie had come over and he looked over the newly renovated apartement" I replied

"Awwww that was so sweet... did he put nanny camera's too?" Jared asked pouting

"Arghhhh..." I groaned as he kept speaking in a baby language.

"Whatever" I dismissed as looped my hands through Leah and Kim's and walked too class.

"Hey don't forget about the band's first show this Friday" Jared fleetingly exclaimed.

"Sure would not miss it for the world" I retorted as I entered the building. Jared, Jacob, Jared's cousin Dean Vincent Blair, Jacob's classmate Chase Hayden Lawrence the absolute cutie who had swooped me of my feat on Christmas and Rebecca had started a band and they were having their first performance this Friday and we were all so excited for them. They had practiced so hard for this.

"Hey bells what are you wearing for Friday?" Kim asked

"Ummmm… the usual" I answered cautiously

"WHAT?" Leah and Kim screeched

"Are you mad you just can wear 'the usual' seriously we represent the band too ya know and we have to keep the skanks away from our boys and…"

"You gotta look better for Chase" Leah added squealing along with Kim.

"OMG! Guys we are just friends..."

"Hmmmm… yeah totally friends didn't you see him? He could not stop staring at you on Christmas and that unexpected rendezvous with him did not seen so friendly ! And your eyes go all googly when you watch him its soooo _obvious_ you like him" Kim argued singing out the obvious.

"And you cannot deny his arms and that face they are just too dreamy to give up on. I mean god! he is like sugar & spice. If it weren't d\for Jacob" Leah sighed dreamily

"I dunno... I really don't know how to act and all since I have been 'off the market' for so long." I winced.

"Arghhhh… that's why we" she gestured to herself and Kim "are here to help you come back in a blast!"

"Please please please" Kim pleaded with her pouty lips and watery eyes.

"Fine fine fine I' am in"

"Yay!" they squealed tugging me to class.

Days went by slowly with Kim and Leah practically living with me as we fished out magazines one after the other. They thought me how to flirt, and they made me do quizzes and so many other ridiculous things. They even offered to take me to a gay bar for me to practice kissing but I had to decline right there. I could not go kissing gays. Hmmmm…. Yeah nooo… so not my thing. On Wednesday I officially shifted back to my newly modified apartment in Seattle. We had a lot of fun celebrating it with martinis and vodka's watching the cheesiest movie's ever. I loved my girls they were the best sister's anyone could have. On Thursday we went shopping for outfits and found outfits which would turn heads. We were so restless for Friday we were practically bubbling with the intense feeling of excitement. But no one really expected what happened the day after.

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**Comments? Love it or hate it post it :P… next chapter out in about 2 weeks.. cya **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Song- I gotta feeling by Black eyed peas

_ Hey guys i know its been a RELI long time but there was a mean error on my profile that took some time to fix and recover my chapters so here is the next.. Btw __All characters__ are from the brilliant mind of__ Stephenie meyer__! _

BPOV

TRING TRING TRING

"Finally I thought school would never get over!" Kim exclaimed meeting me and Leah by Leah's Lamborghini 458 Italia. The car was perfection it was the best car I could imagine Leah in. It was made for her.

"Tell me about it Mrs. Hannah went on and on and on"

"And on and on and on" I continued

"Yeah! That woman does not know how to shut up." Leah had decided to minor in history and politics and major in physiology she was very interested in World War 2 and she has a passion for great leaders. Kim is majoring in fashion designing particularly in shoes and had a minor in business management and physiology she always told me the greatest fashion scandals was when the designers started to lay of their money to managers and eventually were robbed and she strictly took an oath to forever handle her own money. It was so her. Well I' am a minor in art history and music and majoring in literature. I have learnt how to play the piano and the guitar and few other instruments it brings me closer to 'him' it helps me remember 'them' the memories which are slowly fading. I try reaching for them but they keep slipping away. Medicine helps me remember Carlisle he was such a noble person a true inspiration and my 2nd father. Like this small pieces of my life reminded me of them and even though the pain was there I never regretted them. They were all I had left of them memories.

"Anyway we have exactly 4 hours left" Leah spoke breaking the silence.

"Ok so we go to Bella's house I have everything ready there and then Leah's first, me next then we can bedazzle Bella!" Kim replied

"Ok fine I said as I turned up the radio as neon jungles – trouble blared through her radio

When we reached home everything was a blur Leah ran here to there doing hair and makeup, Kim shuffled through our huge shopping bag organizing our outfits whereas I was providing everyone with freshly cooked muffins and hot chocolate while organizing everyone's clutches with the right necessities.

At exactly 6 we were standing in front of the mirror complimenting our work.

Kim was wearing a short dark green dress. It fit her perfectly paying extra attention to her booty and cleavage. She wore a beautiful black set of jewelry including anklets and topped her look of by black fuck me pumps they were awesome. Her hair was flowing down her tan back in small waves. Leah had a magenta one shoulder top and a pleated mini black skirt. she wore red jimmy choo heels and wore a white jewelry with her hair twisted into an elegant but sexy bun. As for me I wore a strapless purple mini dress with black lace stockings leading to black 7 inch black heels which I have been wearing around the house for a few days to actually stand on my two feet and a beautiful tribal brown jewelry. We all had smoky make-up and deep red lipsticks. We looked amazing! I could not define it in any other way. We then grabbed our clutches took a few shots of liquid courage.

"To a great night" I toasted

"To looking totally HOT and _sexy_ " Leah chimed in

"And to Bella blowing Chase away!" Kim added at last

"To all that cheers" I finished as we drank the 4th shot.

"To the sex mobile!" Leah giggled her way to her Lamborghini

We made our way through the busy streets of Seattle and finally found the new bar/karaoke which had just opened last week, eclipse. Leah knew the bouncer so we were in quickly. As we shuffled in the air was more humid with the thick smell of alcohol and sweat across the area. It was not like I did not go to clubs but this one seemed too full. The music was blaring loudly pumping every heart along with its beat and the bar was clean though incredibly stuffy. As we were on our way to search the guys till the world ends by Britney spears started playing.

"OMG this is my favorite song!" Leah exclaimed dragging us to the bar we had few more shots of tequila and Leah pulled us into the middle of the dance floor.

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Dirty dancer – Enrique Iglesias

JACOBPOV

"Hey Rebby where are you? We are on in like 15 minutes."

"Umph... Jake I' am getting dressed I will be there in 5 I' am practically done"

"Ohk but hurry! We need you to ya know we are all shaking with nervousness I mean this is all your idea and there are like people here, like a lot…"

"JAAAAAKE! Stop go find Leah and the others they will help first ok? There is nothing to freak about"

"Ok ok nothing to freak out about, going thanks Rebby"

"It's k bye"

"Bye" I cut the phone feeling few of my muscles relax as my sister assured me that playing in front of these these these many….. O.K. stop.

Find Leah. Find Leah. Find Leah. Find Leah. Find Leah. Find Leah. Find Leah.

"Hey dude what she say" asked an equally freaked Jared.

"She said she is coming in 5 and keep yourselves occupied till then"

"Ohk then we just have to find…" Jared started but suddenly he was cut of there by low whistle coming from Dean.

"Wow… hot chicks dude check em out" he drawled in his british accent. As I snapped my heads toward the door I smacked Dean on the head as I saw the familiar faces of Leah, Kim and Bella.

"Dude cut it out that's our girls" I groaned at looking at his open mouthed expression. Jared still drinking his bear suddenly sputtered it as he looked along with Dean.

"Ewww…. What the…." He then held my Jaw forcefully and turned it to where they were dancing.

"HOLY CRAP!" I exclaimed covering my mouth right after few people turned their heads.

"Jared shit man what are they wearing?" I managed to squeak out.

He shook his head as if coming out of his stupor and replied "I have no idea but I'm going to dance" he proclaimed as he shot another shot of vodka and wobbled his way to Kim.

I slowly took in the scene in front of me Leah was wearing this amazing dress as she danced along with her Kim and Bella it was hmmm… I dunno sexy I just wanna go there take her over my shoulder and…. Anyway that was not what caught my eye. It was the ear splitting smile bella was gracing. I never believed I would ever see it ever again but here it was. I was so proud of her. She had such a big heart. I know that she is still hurting a lot because her dreams were torturous I could clearly make out because I was there for many of them. I cannot stand to watch her hurt that way. She tossed and turned, she screamed and sobbed, she scraped and choked on her breaths it was just too much. But she hides it pretty well now and sometimes I can see her truly enjoying. She's letting go, moving on from the horrible incident. The day she had finally stopped wallowing the first sentence she cried aloud was "Jake help me I need to stop I need to stop, everyone around me is hurting even Charlie Jake help" I was surprised to say the least she did not want the wallowing to stop so that her pain would no longer haunt her but instead she wanted to stop for other people's sake. She was such a loving person.

"Hey dude has B arrived yet" Chase asked hope gleaming in his eyes. Chase was one of my classmate who now had become very close to both me and Jared. He had celebrated Christmas with us last year and had hit of with bella both heart and mind as they were inseparable throughout the whole event and it was no secret that he had a huge crush on her it was almost laughable. But fortunately he was such a good guy that I could not let my brotherly instincts kick up.

"Yeah she is there" I replied pointing at her as she danced with my other half.

"Here you may need a beer" I handed a bear over to the slack- jawed Chase.

"I' am gone" I stated walking toward my girlfriend as she crooked a finger my way.

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Our time now – plain white T's

BPOV

As the 2nd song all of the lights by kayne west and rihanna started we were joined by the guys first Kim got pulled away by Jared. Few minutes later Jacob had Leah and then warm arms enveloped my hips.

"Hey long time no see" a deep masculine but soft voice commented right at my ear his hot breath fanning across my ears. I slowly looked up and smiled at the familiar face. Chase, his face was still the same from last Christmas. His hair a mess of brown which came down to his eyes. His blue- grey eyes were shining brightly with peace and exuberance and his sharp features still magnificently handsome in the dim bar lights.

"Hey you" I sighed leaning on to him swaying to the music. Chase and I had hit of the moment we saw each other in the Christmas dinner. His he was smart, playful and absolutely sexy. He oozed confidence but was shy and tentative when he was around his friends. He was so much like the Cullens that I could easily take him as one of them from his pale skin. He was majoring in history like Jasper would and was a minor in literature a subject me and Edward had in common and he even had a minor philosophy a subject i knew alice would appreciate. I also heard that he was a talented musician and enjoyed art . No girl could have found a better person but I have even after all this, Edward still haunted my mind. Even if it tried everything already I still could not get rid of him he was too big a part of my life.

"Wanna get a drink?" He asked as a fast rap song beat through the boxes.

"Yeah" we sauntered towards the bar and ordered drinks as we sat facing each other.

"You look way better than before" he said waving his hand up and down signaling at me.

"You have got so much more shine in your eyes, you look much more tanner and you have gained more weight in a good way" he finished his observations as I blushed bright red at his careful judgment.

"Thank you, life's going well" I replied softly looking down at my heels. He gently placed his hand on my cheeks and directed my eyes to his.

"Tu c'est belle Bella" he said in his fluent French. My breath caught at the expression in his eyes it so full of adoration not love but pure adoration it stunned me. Just then his eyes they turned, they turned into the hazel drops of gold I was so familiar with.

"Hey People!" Jacob barged in just that moment.

"Good news karaoke is on tonight so that means we are pushed further back and now are officially performing in 3 hours.

"Urghh I thought we could get this over with early" groaned Dean.

'"Hey guys this is Natasha she is my date" he introduced few minutes later as a short girl with green eyes and soft blond curls approached us. After introduction we all got seated into the table and started our comfortable regular banter as we teased and clapped at the karaoke's on stage.

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An hour later we all were pretty drunk laughing boisterously at Jared and Kim who was singing lookin for a good time by lady antebellum. It was a hilariously adorable sight. Kim and Jared were singing to each other like Troy and Gabriella in high school musical if you leave out the beer bottles and the sexual references which was clearly happening in front of my eyes.

"Kiss her already" Jacob hollered from all the way here and there was a few whoops from other people. Just as the song ended everyone cheered as the adorably cheesy couple kissed.

"Ha there you go we rocked the house" Jared shouted like a loon laughing as he sat back at the table. We were all taking turns Dean and Natasha were next singing Lucky by Jason Miraz. They were so cute I had tears in my eyes. Next Natasha had to choose. I was slowly shrinking into my seat to go unnoticed when I heard her choice.

"Bella!"

"Nooo… I can't do this I don't have a partner and I can't sing"

"I can't sing either and if you start doing bad then we can have Chase rescue you" she pressed unrelenting.

"But I can't…"

"Please!" Said 7 pouting faces

"Arghhhh… fine but I' am not giving my real name and I' am so dragging Chase in"

"No probs I will stand off stage and the first minute you are cutting off I will help ok?" Chase asked his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Humph" I sighed as I walked over to the Mc

"Scarlet Damien and I would like to sing hmmm… surprise me?" I asked

"Sure ok" he said

"Hey you'll be ok" Chase said as he gave me a hug as his autumn freshly baked cookie scent assaulted my senses I Slowly allowed it to calm me down.

"Next is from a beautiful young lady named Scarlet Damien" the Mc announced as I slowly extracted myself from Chase and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks" he stood there stunned as I ran onstage and took the vodka shot the Mc gave me as liquid courage.

"Ok people! This is my first time so don't be hard on me!" I pleaded everyone in the chirpiest voice I have ever heard myself use. The song started and I soon caught up to the familiar lyrics of the legendary joan jett! I have always been her fan! She was an inspiration just like all those feminist women who fought for our rights!

**I saw him dancing there by the record machine  
>I knew he must have been about seventeen<br>The beat was going strong  
>Playing my favorite song<br>And I could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me  
>And I could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me<strong>

I said pointing at chase and winked at his gaping face. I suprisingly felt more confident and alive at that moment than i had ever felt.

**Singing, I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with me<br>Ow!  
><strong>

I took another gulp of vodka and there my courage was booming. God I'am going to regret this tomorrow I thought fleetingly as I danced around with the music.

**He smiled, so I got up and asked for his name  
>But that don't matter, he said, 'cause it's all the same<br>He said, "Can I take you home****  
>Where we can be alone?"<br>And next we were moving on, he was with me, yeah me  
>Next we were moving on, he was with me, yeah me<strong>

**Singing, I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with me<br>Ow!**

**He said, "Can I take you home****  
>Where we can be alone?"<br>Next we're moving on, he was with me, yeah me  
>And we'll be moving on and singing that same old song, yeah with me<br>**

Wow now every one of the audience was catcalling and joining in at the chorus the freedom I felt was unbelievable. I felt extremely hyped up like on sugar rush or something

**Singing I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with me<strong>

**I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with<strong>

**I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with<strong>

**I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with<strong>

**I love rock and roll  
>So put another dime in the jukebox, baby<br>I love rock and roll  
>So come and take your time and dance with me<strong>

The crowd and I sang, ending with a bang. I then slowly curtsied and walked of stage. Accidentally bumping into chase in my haste. I squealed with all the adreline pumping into my veins.

"How'd I do how'd I do how'd I do?" I asked. He looked at me with wide eyes and

Suddenly it changed, the atmosphere grew muted everything was quite he looked at me at my lips and then said

"You couldn't have done better you are amazing" I teared up then I never heard such deep and completely genuine compliment since him. He slowly caught my tears and cupped my face gently. I looked up at him as I saw what he was going to do I stilled and when his lips touched mine I relaxed into him and kissed him as passionately as possible. He was the one person who had really helped me get over my numb state and I appreciated that a lot. He was the person who had given me enough self confidence in myself to turn into the person I was today. And he knew about him I told all about him and he was the one who had kissed me. He accepted me even if my heart was not mine to give and even if I was heavily broken. I could not help feeling so elated to find a person like him. I kissed him fully and broke the kiss softly pulling on his bottom lip.

"Thanks… for everything" I mumbled as our forehead was still touching

"Your welcome" he replied giving me another chaste kiss.

Then I was surprised to hear catcalls all around us. I blushed and looked down. Then came the unexpected cheering I looked around to make sure what I was hearing was actually true. It was.

SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET

"I think you've got fans Bells" Chase smiled

"OMG! Was I that good?" I asked as I sat at my table with my friends.

"Yeah like DUuuH... seriously how did you learn to sing that way?" Leah asked

"Ummmm… I did not learn. That was the first time I actually sang I mean I have like done a few for fun recordings but this was my first time in front of an audience."

"Wow Bells you could be famous with that voice… I mean that was like as good as rebby's how awesome would you be with training if you joined us you could make us popular and then we would be super rich with billions of fans and then we could do a world tour and then…"

"Okkkkkkk Jared but seriously that was real good" Kim squealed at me.

After my apparently successful karaoke abilities, the night just became better and better the aching tugs at my heart was silenced to a dim thud by Chase's amazing smiles and soft touches. After an hour and half of more ridiculous karaoke singers and one completely out of place opera singer we were brought to attention by the host.

"It is almost the end of the karaoke singing for the night people" he stated as the crowd booed him.. "hey why the hate" the mc dramatically sighed putting his palm to his heart in an overdramatic manner…"There is going to be 3 last songs then a half hour break but please don't go away because we have 2 new bands who would be performing for you for the first time so see you then!" he exclaimed as he let another singer take the stage.

Thats it for now! i will have the next one posted in a week! And thanks for all the followers


	3. Chapter 3

Hey reders! Here is the next chapter.. i hope that you like it.. this was also where i got the name of the story from.. from pink lovers across the globe: We love you pink!

And stephanie meyer all the characters are yours

Chapter 3

I don't believe you by Pink

" Ok then for the last karoke of the night Scarlet would you like to humor us with another song?" the Mc asked smiling from the I sunk into my seat

"awwww look she is red" he cooed from the stage."come on people where's the love for miss Damien?" the host asked exuberantly

SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET

"Go for it Bells you won't mess up you have an amazing voice" Jacob encouraged.

"Hmmmmm..."

"pleaseee" 7 faces pouted at me

"Ooookaay … I guess why not?" I slowly walked up to the stage as the audience cheered.

"Which song?" the Mc asked smiling

"Could you ask the band to pick this one up? I want to sing one of my own."

"Sure" he signaled the band and walked off stage. I slowly looked around me. I saw happy couples sitting together chatting animatedly in the corner. I saw another couple both seeming to be holding on to each other as if it would kill them to be be separated. But it was the final couple which really broke me. They were gazing at each other completely like the world was in each others eyes. I don't even think they knew what was happening around them it was so touching my heart broke.

"That was once us Edward". I whispered softly. I closed my eyes then and let his memories evade my mind. I let him completely overwhelm me and I started on a song which repeats itself in my head from the past year.

**I don't mind it****  
>I don't mind at all<strong>** …****  
>It's like you're the swing set<strong>**  
>And I'm the kid that falls<strong>**  
>It's like the way we fight<strong>**  
>The times I've cried<strong>**  
>We come to blows<strong>**  
>And every night<strong>**  
>The passion's there<strong>**  
>So it's got to be right<strong>**  
>Right?<strong>

I saw him! It was when we first met the time he had glared at me across the lunchroom, the first time he spoke to me, the first night at Bella Italia then I saw him in our meadow, I saw his face as I looked up from my position on his chest. I saw the angelic and serene smile he wore as the sun fell on his face creating a halo around his beautiful penny colored hair streaks of hazel shone brightly in the light. His skin sparkled like the most precious gems I have ever seen.

**No I don't believe you****  
>When you say don't come around here no more<strong>**  
>I won't remind you<strong>**  
>You said we wouldn't be apart<strong>**  
>No I don't believe you<strong>**  
>When you say you don't need me anymore<strong>**  
>So don't pretend to<strong>**  
>Not love me at all<strong>

I had the flashback of our first kiss the cold but passionate kiss. The first time he said he loved me. I saw his eyes the amount of love it held for me

**I don't mind it****  
>I still don't mind at all<strong>**  
>It's like one of those bad dreams<strong>**  
>When you can't wake up<strong>**  
>It's like you've given up<strong>**  
>You've had enough<strong>**  
>But I want more<strong>**  
>No I won't stop<strong>**  
>Because I just know<strong>**  
>You'll come around<strong>**  
>Right?<strong>**  
><strong> 

This time I was entranced by another memory this one was the time at the hospital when I had my 'incident' with James I saw the bothered expression there the regret, the grief plaguing his eyes like a malestorm conquering his every thought. But I also saw the love the eternal love he showed me as he had gently caressed my cheeks and gave me tender kisses.

**No I don't believe you****  
>When you say don't come around here no more<strong>**  
>I won't remind you<strong>**  
>You said we wouldn't be apart<strong>**  
>No I don't believe you<strong>**  
>When you say you don't need me anymore<strong>**  
>So don't pretend to<strong>**  
>Not love me at all<strong>****

**Just don't stand there and watch me fall****  
>Because I, because I still don't mind at all<strong>

Now the hurt kicked in I saw him telling me I was no good for him. I heard him say all those hurtful words all of them wavering with what I could call as disgust. The cold and hollow feeling I had felt when I curled up on the forest ground.

**It's like the way we fight****  
>The times I've cried<strong>**  
>we come to blows<strong>**  
>and every night<strong>**  
>the passions there<strong>**  
>so it's got to be right,<strong>**  
>Right?<strong>**  
><strong> 

Somehow I considered the question would everything be right? Would he come back to me? We were destined for each other right? Or Could I be without him?

**No I don't believe you****  
>When you say don't come around here no more<strong>**  
>I won't remind you<strong>**  
>You said we wouldn't be apart<strong>**  
>No I don't believe you<strong>**  
>When you say you don't need me anymore<strong>**  
>So don't pretend to<strong>**  
>Not love me at all<strong>****

**I don't believe you**

I slowly opened my eyes at the end of the song and wiped the single lone tear which fled from my eyes when I found my answer no it wouldn't be the same It wouldn't be alright. I bowed slowly and through the applause I walked off stage quickly drawing Chase for a hug as he slowly had come forward and held me.

"I need Jacob Chase please" I cried softly into his embrace.

"ok honey let's go let's go get Jacob" He spoke softly I looked up to him and saw the apparent concern and adoration on his face his worry lines so much more prominent and his eyes more deeper than I have ever seen them.

"Bella…" Jacob sighed as he held me. I was shaking, literally I felt so weak I could barely keep myself upright. I could not see anyone; I could not see anyone but him he was the only one I could see. All the images blinded me, consumed me as the stitches of my heart burst open and my hearts wounds reopened letting the gaping hollow hole to take its place. All I could do was clutch it and hope it would not crack open completely.

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Fix you- Coldplay

JacobPOV

"Who knew she sung so beautifully?" Leah asked nudging me slightly.

"Yeah! I have seen her humming every time even in her dreams but I still never knew she could sing" I replied sighing.

"Humming?"

"Yup, it was some sort of eerie tone it is so freaky my skin crawl's everytime I listen to it" I mused remembering the solemn humming she does regularly.

"YEAH! Bella go get em girl" Jared and me hollered at the timid looking bella. She looked so vulnerable her eyes shifting here to there but she was still beautiful. I would still be behind her if my imprint did not happen. It was so unexpected but Billy explained later that it was just because Leah's transformation had not happened yet and so the first day she transformed I imprinted on her and from then we were completely consumed in each other. I love her so much even though she is all badass sometimes she is still completely mine. I slowly turned to look at her but then got worried at Leah's expression.

"Hey you ok?" I asked her giving her a chaste kiss

"Hmmmm… I just... I just have this weird feeling. It's probably nothing." She shrugged and we looked up to see bella finish her talk with the Mc. Then it happened. I saw her eyes flitting around and suddenly stop on the couple at the end of the bar they were gazing into each other eyes their hands were joined and they were looking at each other as if the world were in the others eyes it was the perfect display of pure love. Then I heard it

"That was once us Edward" it could not be heard to the humans because it sounded like a mild buffer but then all of us, Werewolves could hear it clearly and I felt scared for the first time. The determination, pain and fire blazed in her eyes and then the song started, the eerie song echoed throughout the room giving me and the rest chills as the tone reflected all her conflicted emotions. She had her eyes closed tightly and I could feel the pain, fear and hurt rolling of her. It was touching the lyrics so synchronized with her moods that she pulled us in along with her.

"That's the song" I sighed dejectedly to Leah

"OMG! What do we do we have to stop her" Leah spoke hysterically "she might, she might go into that …zombie state again" she continued flailing her hands in frustration

"I feel like crying…." Kim remarked as she snapped out of the songs eerie spell. Both Kim and Jared were cuddling. Kim was sniffling whereas Jared already had tears running down his eyes. Not that can blame him he rest of the audience in the bar also had similar reactions to Bella's heart – breaking performance. She slowly finished her song as a single lone tear fell of her cheeks. The minute she finished her song she curtsied quickly and sprinted of the stage into Chase's arms. They slowly started making their way to our table and that's when I saw her. She looked devastated. Her shoulders were hunched. Her face pale with contrasting red puffy swollen eyes as tears flowed continually. Chase was holding her up one arm around his neck and for support and one was on her midriff trying to keep herself together and her usually soft eyes weighed down with pain and hurt.

"Bella…" I sighed holding her limp body to mine. She was shaking and she had her distant looks as if lost in memories and her sobs shook harder and harder.

"Hey... we should take her home I will stay with her if you drop her off" Leah said softly brushing Bella's hair away from her eyes.

"Ok let's do this then..." I replied picking Bella up and heading towards the front door.

"He really did a piece on her didn't he?" I heard chase whisper to Jared who was slumped in his seat as Kim comforted him. Jared even in the small amount of time of knowing Bella has become very attached to her and they had a very close brother sister relationship and seeing her broken was hurting him as well. As for Chase he to has taken a liking towards Bella but I had always thought that he was not right for her and I was scared that if Bella broke down in front of him he might not want her because of her damaged heart but what he had said next surprised me greatly

"Who does that to an angel like her? I just can't have it. I promise Bella I will bring you back. I promise I will heal you and If I would ever meet that bastard hope he has lived enough because I will send him to hell." He had said as he looked at our retreating form. From there on I knew that he was the right guy for her as his determination did not once waver in his promise.

When I reached outside I transformed and clutched a sleeping bella in my arms and bounded to her apartment with Leah trailing behind. When we reached the apartment I laid her n her bed and let Leah take care of the rest. "Goodnight babe you'll be sleeping with her right?"

"Yeah… I can't leave her in that state" she replied softly tying Bella's hair into a knot.

"Hmm… ok promise me you'll call if something goes wrong ok? Love you babe" I said as I gave her a chaste kiss.

"Love you too Jake, now go and do your gig" she replied swatting me with away

God I love her…

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move along by the All American Rejects

**BPOV**

In the morning I woke up to Leah's soft snore and the sunlight shining through the room. But today for the first time I felt free, I felt the weight on my shoulders dissipate and I felt my heart beating more steadily than usual and the pain was minimum I felt happy, I felt hope and I felt warm and fuzzy everywhere.

My dream had been the best I have ever had it was different this time I saw a small girl with pale skin, sharp features and a bright toothless smile. I saw the little girl with beautiful penny colored hair with the same color red streaks as Edward's and her eyes was a vibrant coffee color with a ring of green encircling it "Mom" uttered as she held my hand and took me to the meadow but this time it was still full of life. And instead of seeing Laurent I saw _him _laying on the beautiful green pastures with a book and a picnic basket then the little girl held my hand and dragged me all the way there to where he was lounging. Then the one syllable word just one word made my heart stutter "Dad" he was her father and I was her mother. She was our child. He slowly looked up from his book and gave me his crooked smile. It was at that moment I had woken up. I felt completely warm and absolutely in love. I did not know why I was so happy or I did not know why I had been given such a dream but it was there and I was felt I was going to burst with emotion,

I slowly woke up and skipped my way to kitchen. I grabbed a cup of coffee and I did something which I have not done for a long time I went to my music studio. It was the one place I could drown in my memories and express them at the same time. This is one place where no one has ever seen and never should they see because it is a place where I' am the most vulnerable all my emotions which stay bottled up they finally is released I never had much of an emotion overload before last night so I have not used the studio but somehow today I which itching to feel the ivory keys below me and I wanted to feel the vibrations from the strings so I went to the studio.

I slowly walked over to my guitar and settled myself on the stool near the windows and closed my eyes I felt for the first time I felt the music flow through me. I knew every string and every word I wanted to sing. For the first time I felt my muse. I pictured Chase's truthful eyes filled with adoration. I pictured the little girls toothless grin full of innocence and naivety the happiness in her eyes and the spring in her step. I pictured the family I had wanted for myself the Cullen's; Emmett's his teddy bear attitude and goofy child like joy, Jasper's calm demeanor and fierce intellect, Carlisle's forever reassuring and forever supportive attitude, Esme's soft eyes and passionate care, Rosalie's hostile protectiveness and love, Alice's crazy know-it-all cryptic messages and bizarre fashion trends. then I pictured my family now with the wolves and last but not the least I pictured Edward who had been everything to me I pictured his tender kisses, his protectiveness, his beautiful smile, his caring attitude, his love….. And I wrote for the first time, song after song I composed and recorded each and every one of them.

The chapter is at an end! hope you liked it .. if you get the time please review! I wud love to know what i cud change to make things better and any other suggestions! See you in a week!


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello this is the new chapter! Hope you enjoy it!the new semester has begun for me at the universityso please excuse my tardiness :P **_

_**The twilight world was created by none other than stephanie meyer... **_

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Chapter 4

Look after you – the fray

**JACOBPOV**

Something was wrong terribly wrong. Bella has been practically living in her studio. It has been approximately 2 and half weeks since me or any of the others has seen or talked to her it was becoming ridiculous. Leah was the last to hear from her that morning. She said right when she woke up she had gone to search her but by then Bella already was in the studio and there was a rule that going into the studio was strictly forbidden she said it was her 'sanctuary' but I knew better she always went there to feel close to that leech. Arghhhh… it has been so long but the way she had broken down in the bar was proof enough that he was far from forgotten. God I wish I could help her. But the only proof that she is actually alive in the studio is that we can hear occasional notes being played from the wide variety of instruments she has in there. Could you believe that the soundproof walls actually block a lot of sound even for werewolves? Yeah it was the first thing which may be actually useful for our kind. So we were all just sitting out here waiting for her to emerge for something like a glass of water or the mail or even a bath anything at all but no she was silent. For all I can know she might be dying with hunger or with sleep deprivation or I dunno some disease.

"Arghhh….I'am just barging in now" Jared said as he walked towards the door

"I will come too" I replied sprinting

"hey hey hey don't ya think we should leave her for some more time I mean it is her sanctuary" chase retorted blocking our entrance.

"Chase" Jared patted his shoulder speaking like he would to a toddler " do you want your going to be girlfriend who we have not seen in 2 and half weeks to die in there with some disease or deprivation of food or sleep?" Chase quietly shook his head. The exchange was so hilarious that I accidently laughed in to my hand as I disguised it as coughing.

"So how we going to do this? Chas e asked a determined look coming over his face.

"Ummm"

"Hmmm…"

"Arghhhh.." what is wrong with you? You were the ones to suggest it and now you don't have a plan? Hahahahahahaha this is just ridiculous. Hang on" Chase said as he walked over to Bella's bedroom. Few minutes later he crouched down on the studio door and the next minute it was open.

"Cool how'd you do that? Jared asked.

"It was easy I jus…"

"Don't, such powerful weapons in the wrong hands can be dangerous" I remarked getting a smirk from Chase and a glare from Jared.

"ok we will go in on the count of 3 we will go in but be silent ok?" I told them they both noddend their heads and I held the handle.

"1…2…3" Chase counted as I pulled the door wide open and then all 3 of us gasped at the room in front of us. This was not just a room it looked like a house in itself we entered the main room and it looked…ummm…. I don't know how to describe it but it looked so rich, fancy aaaahhh it looked like a music heaven. The walls were black but by the amount music lyrics and songs on them that they gave a modern black and white look. The floor was carpeted and further front we saw a beautiful set of purple velvet sofa's which surrounded the most hugest home theatre I have ever seen and when I walked closer I saw the multiple gaming devices such as dance revolution, guitar hero, nwii, a shitload of movies and music albums were lined up on the walls beside the home theatre then on to the right we could see a kitchen and there was a humongous fridge.

"yeah she is not dying of starvation" I said looking at the well stoked fridge.

"Nor of sleep" Jared replied pointing at a pillow and blanket on the sofa.

"Shit this is a ton times cosier than my bed!" Chase exclaimed running his hand through the velvet. Just then I saw 3 doors next to each other one said recording the other said storage and the last had only a single letter engraved with bold calligraphy on it said I. Jared slowly opened that door and I was hit with the smell of wood and coffee. As I looked around I saw that 2 whole walls were just completely covered with French windows which gave a beautiful view of the central park and the lake and just by the window I saw a stool with a stand containing songs, it looked like there were at least 30 of them and they were carefully pinned together. When I looked back to get the boys I saw the instruments, wow that is lot. I couldn't even name some. It was such a foreign side of her that I was awestruck.

Then we heard her voice in the recording room next door we slowly closed the room with the I and heded to the recording room. We were again surprised to see another amazing room it looked so professional. The small room we entered was the studio and a door on the right led to the recording space where we could hear bella playing on the ivory black piano. We all walked over to the glass which was apparently one way because she gave no indication of seeing us, and we looked at bella lost in her own world gliding her fingers across the black beaut the tune was so beautiful it was dull and moody but there was something in it, it sounded like hope and small amounts of joy which was shown by her small smile as she kept caressing the keys.

"did she compose it herself?" I asked Jared the music genius in our group he knew varied songs from almost all the singers from every genre and he would have known if it was hers or not.

"Yeah 100% hers" Jared whispered both of them looking on with shock and admiration. When She slowly stopped singing and strung her last chord she spoke into the mike.

"The song name is named Near to you and I dedicated this song to my savior the one who gave me the best Christmas present I would have ever received the person who helped me get my life back last Christmas" she smiled as if lost in memory I slowly nudged the others and pointed towards the door they both nodded and followed me out the studio.

"that was my…my song" Chase murmured

"Yeah and according to the bundle of songs she had on the stand by the windows she composed a whole lot more songs." I remarked

"Ya know we will just leave her alone until she is ready to come out she has found her muse" Jared smiled gently proud of her sister's accomplishments. Music had also been a major thing Jared and Bella had bonded in she had always looked up to him for help in her music major. Bella could never write any of her own music because she became to emotional and vulnerable when she started that she could not finish but know I knew Jared was right we should leave her to pursue her muse. We slowly left the room not bothering to glance at the storage room letting the little angel her much needed privacy.

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Falling inside the black – skillet

**EPOV **

Darkness; darkness was all I could see. I was in a small caged area with glass walls on all my 4 sides and a blazing fire attacked the glass walls, bringing torment and heat so great I could feel it slowly scraping off my skin. But inside all I could feel was cold. It was the feeling of death. I could feel it till the tips of my toes. I felt lost, isolated and I felt fear for the first time in years I felt fear. Suddenly I heard a horn and I stirred awake losing the horrible image in my mind.

It has been exactly 1 year, 7 months, 5 days, 13 hours, 48 minutes, and 37…38…39 seconds since I left her. Nothing is significant to my dull darkened soul now. I' am living… no existing in a small apartment in the slums of Rio. I have not moved an inch since I have collapsed here. The pain is still afresh it was stabbing my chest over and over again. I can feel my body surrendering itself to the blissful numbness and I feel the burn near the base of my throat but they do not torture me as much as my memories. Every one of them letting me sense every emotion during my time with B...be...bebbbb…el HA! I can't even say her name without wanting to tear my hair out. I do not know how to control my emotions anymore I' am drowning to the depths of the earth but resurfacing at the last minute and sinking again the next. I don't know what to do…. All I know is that I should not move because once I do I may do something horrible like go to the Volturi or break down everything in sight or eat every animal to extinction or worse go back and beg for forgiveness. Oh how I wanted to…. I would beg and beg and beg until she got sick and tired of me and tell me to leave then only would I kill myself. Arghhhh…. I feel...I feel lost in this black void where the only picture I could see was her.

Her beautiful mahogany hair sprawled all over my pillow. The soft curls tangled in her delicate fingers. Her soft and rosy face caressed by the moon. Her beautiful tender features visibly contrasting the dark sheets. Her smile lighting up the room and the kind understanding eyes filled with love looking right at me. She was in a beautiful midnight blue dress which hugged her in all the right places. Her milky white skin looking as gentle and soft as silk and her leg slipping out of the slit at the side of the dress looked miles long and as delicate as proclein glass leading to dainty feet which hung of the edge of the bed.

She was a goddess and my finger twitched and reached out trying to touch her but when I could feel nothing but air I would either yell frustrated or I would sob uncontrollably I did not know what to do my heart felt like bursting and I felt grief, the grief of losing her when I have not yet experienced so much with her. The sun was rising again but as I slowly looked up all I could see was black white and shades of grey. I thought sunrise was supposed to be beautiful but I could not see anything special in it, the veil had encased all beauty and vivid colors from me making nature dull and insignificant I watch the sunset and sunrise, I see every star when it shows itself, I see every movement the cloud makes but I still feel nothing but pain and anguish.

So many experiences I have missed out with my love. I wanted to make her my wife, I wanted to marry her, I wanted to see her walk through the door in her white dress and hear her say I do on the alter, I want to carry her through our first house and make love to her. Oh how I wanted to make love to her I would have worshipped and kissed every inch of her. I would hold her flush against me and cherish every moan she makes. I would have memorized every tiny mark on her skin and I would have whispered I love you's and sweet nothingness throughout the whole thing. But I lost her and the chance to ever have the right to want all these things…

"Grrrrr…." I growled. Suddenly the phone started ringing first came Alice's ring tone lady Gaga's - paparazzi, then Jasper's Coldplay – Viva la Vida, then Rose's ring tone Kesha's – BlahBlahBlah then Emmett's Jeremih – imam star. Each one was on repeat for 15 whole minutes ringing relentlessly. Then there was a sudden stop but then I heard it the tensed voice of my sister oh how I missed her "EDWARD SHIT EDWARD PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE IT'S BELLA!" Bella shit something is wrong with her get up get up get up…. I willed myself to get the phone but every part of my body was completely stiff and it was hard to move. Bt then images of her invaded my mind I thought about all the times she said she loved me all the times she had kissed me then suddenly a horrible image of her dead in the casket stirred my muscles awake and I stomped my way stiffly to the phone.

Tringtring…TringTring…..TRINGtring….TRINGTRING

"Omg Edward!" a small tensed tone answered the phone. I have never heard my sister this stressed…this is bad…

"what what happened to her Alice?" I rasped as a shiver ran down my spine I would never forgive myself if something happened to her. I tried to answer calmly but my voice betrayed me as it came out as a screech god I sounded like a girl but I could feel it there was a bad aura around ths whole ordeal it was as if I knew something was going to go horribly wrong.

"Edward….. Edward log on to youtube now" said alice as she tried to control her breathing.

"What" I asked thinkng I heard wrong

"YOUTUBE NOW…" alice screeched

"GOD seriously alice you want to show me something on youtube at a time like this?"

"ARRRRGGGGG! Edward now"

"Fine fine hang on" I slowly reached into the small duffel bag I had brought with me and picked out my laptop which I used only 3 times all this time to communicate with my family. I did not want to use a phone because it would hurt too much to hear my family's sad voices through the phone especially sweet Esme's voice god miss her dearly. I slowly logged on to youtube.

"What now Alice?" I asked still feeling a little annoyed

"Go to Scarlet Damien's startling start" she whispered. Wow that's eerie something really must be up. After few moments of downloading and complete pin - drop silence I started the video. I saw the mc introduce a hazy petite brown haired woman who's name was scarlet. Just as she finished swinging her vodka shot like a champ she turned toward the crowd and her hazy figure moved towards the crowd and then… that's her? Nooo.. her name is scarlet… but she looks so alike and is so different at the same time she has the same dark brown eyes, the same pouty lips, the same maghony hair but she looked different to be her her hair was in a short bob with a sideways fringe, her skin so much more tanned, and don't get me started on the dress it was way too…. Hmmm… what's the word?... Unher yes that's it is too inappropriate since it is completely hugging her and oh my god those shoes….

"Edward Edward EDWARD…EDWARD!"

"yeah yeah I was just spacing out what alice?"

"why are'nt you freaking out?" she asked in utter curiosity I could even imagine her crunched up face. Scarlet just finished her song and she went off stage to a medium built man at the side of the stage. It looked as if they were having a silent conversation and then they kissed. It was amazing to see their emotions come out through the kiss it was these moments which hurt the most. It was times like this that my sadness swells in my heart but I always knew it was my fault so I shouldered that feeling as well.

"alice I don't know why you think I should be upset with the situation scar…" just that minute the camera landed on a table cat-calling at the couple in the front. It looked extremely like jake… wait that is jake oh shit. Slowly the pieces fit and my dead heart leapt out of my chest my shoulders went down with a thud as the overwhelming grief took over my entire being. I just saw my true love , my mate, my everything in the arms of another man and she even looked happy about it as the chemistry soared through the video mocking me.

"EDWARD! Oh my god I'am so sorry we will fix don't worry…."

BANG

I kept watching the scene in front of me their eyes shut in pleasure and the undeniable feelings floating from the computer it was life an accident something though horrid impossible to peel your eyes from. I was trying my best to hold my self after the computer went black. The image burned through like a flood of ripples again and again over and over it played i could not imagine anything this agonizing. But what made it hurt more was the fact that it was all me this time I pushed her away, ran away from her it was me. I reached into the drawer on to my right and pulled out the lighter slowly burning my wrist while the rush of memories hit me like nothing I have felt before. The pain was excruciating and I saw my wrist was almost torn of and I stopped and threw the lighter out of the window and observed that my flesh already started it's rapid healing. I slowly looked around trying to figure out what day was it as soon as I wired up the computer I saw that it had been 2 weeks since I had that conversation with alice. I opened my mail and saw that I had only 1 mail from alice as I opened it I saw there was another video of scarlet Damien I was burning with rage by now did she think this was funny for me? Does she like to mock my pain? But just as I was about to shut the computer I saw alice's message "There is still hope" this simple line killed me with curiosity as I played the video. This video was a complete contrast the one to the previous one here I could see scarl…. Meaning bella's eyes scrunched up while singing the most haunting music I have ever heard it captured me and held me captive in it's depth but I was missing something I kept listening to it over and over again and finally got it was the lullaby it was bella's lullaby she had tuned it and created lyrics for it. I was awestruck how did she do it I thought about how she cold have gotten a professional song writer to get beautiful lyrics to the song then I listened to her deep voice lathered with the same pain I felt inside me and hung on to each word of the lyrics as the haunting tune stopped I was hit with the realization that I could not do this anymore and that i have made a big mistake I could not live without her and I wouldn't and by the way she has expressed her emotions in the video nor can she I' am not going to let this go. There is hope! I quickly shut my laptop and packed the bare necessities I bought with me and left. I'am of to Seattle.

**=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H=H**

_Reviews people! I shall see you in 2 weeks! _


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